Long-distance Communication for Divorced Dads
How to Preserve a Deep Connection with Your Child Post-Divorce
Dads Suffer, Too
No one teaches you to be a dad. Okay, you can read books on parenthood and listen to the endless advice from your friends and family – but everyone's experience is unique, so no one can truly prepare you for being your kids' father.
Since no one actually plans to divorce when they start a family, dads aren't ready to become divorced fathers, either. As it turns out, it's a heavy burden. For some men, lack of contact with their children post-divorce translates into:
Since no one actually plans to divorce when they start a family, dads aren't ready to become divorced fathers, either. As it turns out, it's a heavy burden. For some men, lack of contact with their children post-divorce translates into:
- Depression
- Alcoholism
- Neurosis
- Low productivity at work
All of this can cause a father to simply disconnect from their children after a divorce. It may seem like all is lost, and instead of fighting for their kids they decide it's easier to just drop it. Which makes their lives even worse.
Many fathers can't handle it, and minimize their communication with their children to zero. This takes a toll on kids, too. But the truth is, divorce shouldn't mean the end of the communication between father and child.
Where one door closes, another one opens. With a little thought, it's possible to find a way to communicate that was impossible before. Of course, living apart, or even in different cities or states, means your opportunities are limited – but this is a chance for you to make the most of them.
Many fathers can't handle it, and minimize their communication with their children to zero. This takes a toll on kids, too. But the truth is, divorce shouldn't mean the end of the communication between father and child.
Where one door closes, another one opens. With a little thought, it's possible to find a way to communicate that was impossible before. Of course, living apart, or even in different cities or states, means your opportunities are limited – but this is a chance for you to make the most of them.
Divorce Your Ex, But Not Your Children
Divorce is a problem as it is, but while adults have their own issues to get over, the kids don't always understand exactly what's going on and where their dad is going all of a sudden. The key idea is that we might divorce our spouse, but our kids forever stay our kids. We must, or should want to, stay emotionally close to them, even if we're physically far apart.
Life changes post-divorce. Most probably it's a new situation for you and your ex-spouse, and even more so for the kids. As a result, divorced couples make common mistakes when co-parenting that complicate their communication with the kids.
Life changes post-divorce. Most probably it's a new situation for you and your ex-spouse, and even more so for the kids. As a result, divorced couples make common mistakes when co-parenting that complicate their communication with the kids.
Losing your temper
Your ex will know how to push your buttons, but put all that aside and remember that your children and their needs are the priority.
Making it a power struggle
Don't use your child to win back your ex.
Asking the child to choose sides
Similarly, asking children to convey messages to your ex is not fair to your child.
Fighting in front of the child
Habits like this are the most damaging for kids of divorce.
Not communicating properly with your ex
During the divorce, you may have gotten used to talking to the other parent through a third party. But afterwards, you have to speak for yourself. Children adjust best when their parents can talk to each other respectfully.
Not communicating properly with your child
You may have divorced your ex, but your children are forever your family.
You may have divorced your ex, but your children are forever your family.
Build a Trusting Relationship With Your Child
Dr. Linda Nielsen states that only 10-15 percent of fathers enjoy the benefits of shared parenting after divorce.
In her research, Dr. Linda Nielsen states that (partly due to problems listed above) only 10-15 percent of fathers enjoy the benefits of shared parenting after divorce. It's a horrifyingly low number.
It's common knowledge that catching a child's attention is becoming more and more difficult, even when you're home every night. Gadgets, social networks, bloggers, informational noise and games steal their time and attention. Add malfunctioning Internet connections and messengers to the mix when you're a divorced dad, and you get the picture.
It's common knowledge that catching a child's attention is becoming more and more difficult, even when you're home every night. Gadgets, social networks, bloggers, informational noise and games steal their time and attention. Add malfunctioning Internet connections and messengers to the mix when you're a divorced dad, and you get the picture.
But despite the distance that may exist between you and your child, you can be close to each other. Just as going through difficult experiences and telling each other secrets brings people together, it can do the same for children of divorced parents and their estranged fathers.
One of the secrets to bonding is telling personal stories. Sharing stories with your child will help you open up and continue being a good dad after your divorce.
One of the secrets to bonding is telling personal stories. Sharing stories with your child will help you open up and continue being a good dad after your divorce.
There Is a Solution
You may tell yourself as much as you want that everything is fine, and you don't need anyone's help, but you won't make the problem go away by simply denying it. Something must be done.
The truth is, fathers and divorce is a topic close to our hearts. The even bigger truth is that, as divorced fathers with deep scars on our hearts, we miss our children and our everyday communication with them every minute.
A couple of years ago, we had this crazy idea. And we decided to act.
We decided to create an app that would connect fathers and their children after a divorce, even over long distances.
The truth is, fathers and divorce is a topic close to our hearts. The even bigger truth is that, as divorced fathers with deep scars on our hearts, we miss our children and our everyday communication with them every minute.
A couple of years ago, we had this crazy idea. And we decided to act.
We decided to create an app that would connect fathers and their children after a divorce, even over long distances.
Why did we do it only now? Luckily, technology has advanced enough to provide fathers and kids with compact portable gadgets and high-speed Internet connections for easier sharing of data.
Through trial and error, we created a solution that really works.
It really helps build connections.
It helps bring children and their fathers together.
It builds an invisible bridge between them.
It helps them not to stay out of touch forever.
If you care about your child, if you want to be an amazing dad to your child, even after your divorce, just try it!
Through trial and error, we created a solution that really works.
It really helps build connections.
It helps bring children and their fathers together.
It builds an invisible bridge between them.
It helps them not to stay out of touch forever.
If you care about your child, if you want to be an amazing dad to your child, even after your divorce, just try it!
